Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
