then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
