dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
