How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
