If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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