Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
