I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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