You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
