Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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