the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
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she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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