Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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