this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
