To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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