There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Randomize
