I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
