life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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