I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
