the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Randomize
