He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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