We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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