I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
