my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
