Dual....:-)
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
