I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
