if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
