How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
