She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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