you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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