Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
