My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
