Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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