Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
