after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
