just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
