The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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