Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
How does it feel to date your dad?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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