what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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