i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
