just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
