I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
