so let's talk penis.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
whose ass print is on the piano?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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