hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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