shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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