every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
