3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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