think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
