That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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