Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
