New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
