you guys were way drunker than both of me
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
