If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The Olympian is in my bed
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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