You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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