I wanna bring you to show and tell
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
