OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
