The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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