We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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