i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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