walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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