how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
