Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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