Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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