Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If I die, sorry about rent.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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