Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So much rum. So many feels.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
