she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
