Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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