uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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