Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
