tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
