Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My bed smells like the plague
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
