the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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