maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
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I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
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Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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