JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
